Spouses Have To Evolve

I just had an interesting conversation with a friend about how some long-term marriages can sometimes fall apart.  So many of us have the misconception that once you’re married, you’re safe.  After “I do”, then you think that you can just sit back and relax forever.

Well, that’s not the case at all.  It’s safe to say that if your marriage makes it long-term (10 years or more), that you’re well beyond most incompatibility issues.  However, there are long-term concerns.  Most of them center around evolution or the lack thereof.

Although “love is blind”, we shouldn’t be.  Some of us don’t change, yet we fail to pay attention to our spouses changing.  My friend said that, “it’s important to grow individually and collectively.  If only one person is growing, then they outgrow the other.”

Very true.  Marriage is a journey.  You may have to do something different stylistically, intimately, or even open your mindset to change in order to keep up with your spouse.  For example: let’s say that you marry someone who at one point, just like you, loves to eat junk food and sit on the couch and watch movies.  For ten years, this is what the two of you enjoy.  However, now you’re approaching your 40’s and your spouse starts to get concerned about health issues.  So, they join a gym and work out regularly.  If you choose to not evolve with your spouse, then you run the risk of an eventual issue in the marriage.

Is one spouse wrong for wanting a healthier lifestyle?  No. Is the other one wrong for wanting a more relaxed lifestyle?  No.  But, odds are, they will clash at some point.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that the saying,”you should accept me for who I am” applies to both spouses and not just for the one who refuses to change.

Why Was "Hidden Figures" Not in My History Books?

I finally took the opportunity to watch the movie “Hidden Figures”.  It’s a movie, based on a true story, that follows the lives of three women, who lived in Virginia, who were key components in the success of the NASA space program in the 60’s.  Not only was working in prominent roles at NASA a rarity for women, these women were also black, which makes it even more of a phenomenon for the early 60’s.  As I watched this movie, my heart swelled with pride to see these black women blaze the trail for many others to come.

Well, maybe they blazed a trail locally.  Because I don’t recall ever hearing these ladies mentioned in my history books.  12 years of school and NASA’s space program didn’t mention one woman until Sally Ride.  Where were the names of Katherine G. Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson?  These women were part of the reason we ever got an American into space at all and they can’t get any love in history books?

What would it have meant to thousands of young, black kids, especially girls, across the country to know the accomplishments of these three ladies?  Let me retract that.  There were actually as many as 30 black women who worked for NASA during the first orbit around Earth.  They were referred to as “computers” because of the type of work that they did.  Either the state of Virginia has a surplus of super-intelligent black women or the school system has done us a disservice of informing us of minority accomplishments.  I’ll go with the latter.

This movie showed how black people were able to overcome the mistreatment that they received while still outperforming their white counterparts.  Something that a lot of us still deal with today.  We’ve all heard the phrase, “you have to work twice as hard to get half of what they got.”  This movie is a prime example of that.

I would encourage anyone to watch this movie.  It doesn’t matter your race or gender.  It’s something that everyone can get something out of.  What these ladies did should have been celebrated since the launch and should be a part of American History and not just NASA’s history.  Yet it took 44 years of my life to even hear about this story.

And it makes me wonder how many Native Americans, Asians, Latinos, etc. have been left out of the history books, too.  I guess we’ll never truly know, but thanks to director, Theodore Melfi, for telling this story.  It’s a shame that only one of the three ladies involved was actually alive to see it.

Katherine G. Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson.

Never See A Marvel Movie with a Non-Fan

(written 5.8.16)

Okay, so I’ve been waiting to see Captain America 3 since it was announced a couple of years ago.  I’m a single guy, so I found myself in a situation in having to find someone to watch the movie with me.  After all, I’ve never been one to do movies solo.  So, I decided to call a few people to see if they were available.

I called and asked one lady if she was interested and she told me “no.”  She wasn’t into comic book movies.  I appreciated her honesty.  I don’t know if she’s ever given the Marvel movies a try or not, but I guess she knows her limits.

I texted another young lady and she was busy attending a Beyonce concert in Houston and wasn’t able to go.  Beyonce is a ticket just as hot as Captain America around these parts.

So, the 3rd time’s the charm, right?  Yeah. that’s what I hoped.  Worst. Movie. Experience. Ever.

Never see a Marvel movie with a non-fan.  Just don’t do it.  I asked her if she’d ever seen any of the other Captain America movies and she said “no.”  I should have hit the eject button at that point.  When people don’t understand the backstory to characters and the concept of super powers, then it can get very annoying in the theater.

“How can the red head survive these fights without super powers?”

“Does Captain America’s shield give him powers?”

“Why is Spider-Man a boy?  Wasn’t he grown in the last movie?”

“Jeremy Renner doesn’t do anything except shoot arrows?”

Well, that one is a legitimate question.

Anyhoo, the questions became so much for me to handle that I simply asked her to take mental notes and I’d answer the questions after the movie.  That was also a waste of time.

Needless to say, she thought that it was the worst movie she’d ever seen.  I thought that it was an awesome movie.

Memo to self: when you see X-Men this weekend, take someone who has seen and enjoys Marvel movies.