>For Kids or Parents?

Posted: May 1, 2011 in birthday, children, parenting

>Those of you who have followed for a few months know that I’m old school. I try to be open-minded on some things, but for the most part, I start with my roots and go from there.

Look! Homey the Clown is coming!

I have a few problems with kids and their birthdays:

Uno) Having a party at a very young age. If your kid isn’t old enough to hold a fork to eat his / her cake, then why have a party?

Dos) Having a party every single year. Is inviting friends and family over to celebrate really a way to to get your kid free toys and clothing?

Tres) Feeling obligated to attend every birthday party of your child’s daycare because you invited all of them to his / hers.

I’m not saying don’t celebrate your kid’s birthday. My parents had a cake for me every year along with gifts. But, I didn’t have a party every year. I had parties at ages 6, 10, and 12. The reason I remember the ages is because they meant something to me. It meant something to me because my life wasn’t saturated with attending birthday parties every freakin’ year.

Now that I think about it, age 12 is the last time I had a party. Okay, maybe I’m not the best example to follow since I don’t make a big deal out of my birthday.

I don’t need an annual reminder to celebrate life because I do it daily.

(If any of you see that in a book of quotes, please notify me so that I may sue them)

It’s all about me on MY day, baby!

But, the point I’m trying to make is do you want your kid to grow up to be this ———————————————————–>

Let’s be honest. The first three or four annual parties that you have for the little one is not about him / her. It’s about you, the parent. You want to share the celebration with others that you’re baby is a year older. I understand it, but say it. Stop feeding me excuses about how your kid will appreciate it when they’re older. They won’t even remember it. They’re too young. I have a photo of my brother holding me when I was one. Cute photo, but based on my memories, I didn’t know I was in the world until age 3.

You may think that what you’re doing is noble, but you’re putting pressure on your family, friends, and other parents from the daycare who spend every other weekend at someone’s house bringing gifts to a child they hardly even know. (Memo to parents: don’t feel obligated to buy a gift and attend a kid’s party based solely on the fact that it’s your child’s classmate).

When you celebrate every single one, then over time, the spotlight will shift from the parent to the child. In the end, you’ll wind up with some 29-year old pestering you to celebrate their party with them at Applebee’s. SN: if you want to celebrate milestone ages like 16, 18, 21, 25, 30, etc. then I can understand that. But, if you’re trying to rent the club for an odd number birthday like your 29th, then you’re an egomaniac and a loser. Sorry. I’m a Life Ref.

Should a child have a birthday party every year? If so, should it start with Year One?

Who is this party REALLY for?

  1. >Wow, this is a timely post, Q. I was just talking about this to one of my friends. My son is going to be 7 in less than two weeks. I have had one "party" for him – his first birthday – we had a big picnic party at the park – and that was totally about the adults. Since then – we have a low key "party" each year (i.e., me and him and sometimes his grandparents if they're in town, in our house) – and he gets a special cake, but I have yet to have a "PAR-TAY" at the Chuck E Cheese, or the Jump Zone, or anywhere else that all of the other kids in his class have their parties. I do this for a couple of reasons. One, he has wayyy too much shit as it is – he does not NEED anything. I don't want people bringing toys or things that will end up in a pile with all of the other toys he doesn't play with. Two, I do not ever want him to think that he is the center of the universe and he has free license to act like a fool on his birthday (he already knows that he is the center of MY universe, and that's all that really matters). And three, I don't want him to EXPECT that he will have a big ole party every year. People do that shit to keep up with the Joneses. It's ridiculous. I don't even TAKE him to those "organized" birthday parties because I don't want him getting any big ideas. Fine, if it's a party at a kid's house – a small gathering, okay – but no laser tag or bumper car zone or wherever! I suppose on "milestone" birthdays – like when he turns 10 or 13 or whatever, I'll be a little more lenient. But for now, he looks forward to his birthday because he gets surprised with a different theme cake every year and he opens presents from me and the grandparents. That's plenty for a little kid. Especially if you're trying to instill that you should be thankful for everything you have and don't just "get" anything you want. I won't lie – my kid is on the "spoiled" side (only child, only grandchild) – and he really wants for nothing – so there's no reason for me to make it even worse with ridiculous birthday party extravaganzas!

  2. Thank, Q says:

    >Very well said. Especially the part about "Keeping Up with The Joneses." After all, that's what it's mostly about with a lot of people.

  3. Sonia says:

    >This was great! I saw an episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and one chick spent over $60,000 for her 4 yr old Bday! Shit, that could buy me a new car! The first year I get, but I think some parents do go overboard and then wonder why their ass is broke. If you have the money fine, but theres a big difference from celebrating your kids birthday and spending too much on a party when you know most of it is for you.

  4. Thank, Q says:

    >$60k, Sonia? You could buy another child cheaper than that! LOL! That's worse than My Super Sweet 16 show on MTV.

  5. Mugundhan says:

    >Looks amazing!!!! /I look forward to your feedback /thanks for this man it was very helpful.Kids Day Care

  6. Anonymous says:

    why not! celebration and party can be fun for everyone. also we can diy too. can stimulate your creativity.

  7. Thank, Q says:

    I'm not saying that it can't be fun, but I just don't think it teaches people how to be humble. It's too much of a "look at me" being instilled in people as it is these days. We'll have to agree to disagree. :)But, I thank you for your comment!

  8. Anonymous says:

    With Asian families it's a tradition to have birthday parties at one simply because it's a celebration of a child making it to live that long. Hundreds of years ago when the tradition began it wasn't the average to have a child reach a year old because of all the illnesses that ran rampant. The same goes for the Western traditional annual birthday celebration. Traditionally speaking, we have parties to celebrate the survival of another year. How that meaning holds true now, though, is up for debate.

  9. Thank, Q says:

    Interesting. That's something in which I'm unfamiliar, but I could understand something like that. It probably shouldn't apply to Americans today, but if Asians do partake in that still, then tradition makes sense. Thanks.

  10. I love reading through an article that will make people think.
    Also, thank you for allowing for me to comment!

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