Archive for the ‘society’ Category


I was watching the “Amber Rose Show” just recently.  In all honesty, I was watching the show for all of the wrong reasons.  I just think that Amber Rose is smoking hot, so I decided to tune in.  But the show was so awful that I know that I won’t be watching it again.

The entire show was basically Amber Rose asking women questions about sex.  Women were disclosing everything from how many side dudes they’ve had to being on top during sex.  Some people call it “women empowerment” and other people call it “women being promiscuous”.  Whatever you want to call it is totally dependent on your upbringing.

As for my upbringing, I was taught that sex was something sacred.  You didn’t share what you did with everyone.  It was deemed disrespectful to your partner to discuss your sexual experiences with them to someone else.

Fast forward to today and everyone is doing it.  People are getting on TV, radio, and social media and discussing their sex lives like they’re talking about their day at work or something.  I watched Amber Rose talk about sex for her entire show except for the last segment (which was only a couple of minutes long).  She “interviewed” rapper, T.I., and asked him his favorite sex position, the craziest place he’s had sex, and if he masturbated.

I was thinking to myself, “how in the world are kids going to not be teen parents if all they see on TV is how much fun sex is?”

I guarantee you that there are a ton of kids under 18 years old watching Amber’s show and shows like hers.  It’s not like parents pay attention to what their children watch.  A ton of the girls watching probably want to be Amber Rose and a ton of boys want a girl like her.  She has a glamorous lifestyle and makes a lot of money for basically doing nothing truly talented.  Who wouldn’t want that life?

But, back to the topic… Sex isn’t sacred any more.  People will tell you all of their business without any thoughts to how you feel about it or how their partner would feel if they found out.  And if you feel awkward discussing it with them, then you’re looked at as someone abnormal.  A conversation that may have been reserved to close friends and siblings is now something you can get from a coworker you barely know.

In roughly 30 years, the United States has done a 180 degree turn around in morals.  Sex is “empowering” and not something kept private.  Cursing is simply just talking and not something done out of the public’s earshot.  Being reckless with your life is no longer scolded, but it is praised by everyone for you “expressing yourself” (and sometimes rewarded with money and fame).

Nothing is sacred any more.  TV has dumbed down in 30 years what took hundreds of years to create.  The end result is me watching Amber Rose ask a woman if she has a side dude (actually, “dude” wasn’t the d-word that she used) and this young lady must have named 10+ guys.  She was applauded for it.

To each their own, I guess.  It makes me wonder what conversations are parents having in households across the U.S. with their children?  Is this type of thing even being discussed?  Based on what I’m seeing on TV, it is being discussed.  Just by celebrities instead of parents.

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I had fallen asleep on my couch with my TV on ESPN.  However, I woke up and noticed a mural on the left hand side of the screen showing Muhammad Ali’s face.  Before my eyes could adjust and focus on the words on the screen, I knew that Ali had died.  I’d just spoken to my cousin about Ali just hours ago about how grave his condition was.

My first “favorite athlete”,  Muhammad Ali, was dead at the age of 74 years old.

There aren’t many men like Ali being produced in this country any more.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  He had his issues when it came to his wives.  He wasn’t perfect.  But he did more for this country than anyone who may have stepped foot on the White House lawn in the past 50 years.

People who don’t know the man think that he was “The Greatest” because of what he did inside the boxing ring.  No.  Ali was “The Greatest” for what he did outside of the boxing ring.  Ali inspired the world with his approach to day-to-day living.  He was a motivational speaker.  He was a civil rights activist.  He was an entertainer.  Oh, he was such an entertainer!

Ali had a relationship with the media that we will never see again.  He gave interviews that resembled stand up comedy sets.  The beneficiary of many of those interviews was a sports commentator named Howard Cosell.

Cosell and Ali were partners.  They fed off of each other in their interviews to become two of the biggest figures in sports.  The respect that they had for one another provided entertainment for more than a decade.  Despite their close relationship, Cosell remained unbiased in his journalist approach unlike what we see with some talking heads today.

Howard Cosell and Muhammad Ali turned each other into legends.

Ali won many awards and honors during and long after his boxing career.  I won’t go through all of his accomplishments because the talking heads will do that over the next week.  However, I will mention his impact on today’s culture.  Ali started a culture of brashness that we see in sports today.  This was a man who not only showed you in the ring that he was “The Greatest”, he would tell you that he was, too.  The predictions that athletes make today, the “getting in the head” of their opponents, and things like that were made famous by Ali.

Seated: Bill Russell, Muhammad Ali, Jim Brown, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

He embraced his blackness and his message resonated throughout black communities around the country.  He stood for his beliefs regardless of the controversies and criticisms that surrounded him which is something athletes refuse to do today.  Ali didn’t care if you liked him.  He didn’t care if he lost money from losing fans.  Heck, he didn’t even care if he went to jail for what he believed.

Muhammad Ali and Malcolm X

There are many things that I wish that I could change with the world.  There are many things that I wish that I could go back in time and fix.  But if I had one wish to change anything regarding Muhammad Ali, it would be for him to forever have his voice.

Ali was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1984 and it slowly robbed him of all of the gifts that he’d displayed for us over the previous 25 years prior to that.  If he only had the opportunity to continue speaking, what would his contributions to black communities and to his religion would have meant to society today?

Muhammad Ali and Sam Cooke

Would he have put black athletes and celebrities in their place when it came to their selfishness?  Would he have continued to inspire people to do more with their lives and not be ordinary?  What would Ali have given us had his voice not been trapped inside of his body?

We will never know.  The first athletic entertainer is gone.  A lot of people speculated that Ali was in a bad place this time around as we got word that he was being hospitalized.  Over the course of 24 hours, we all knew that his condition was getting worse and that he may be passing on.  Despite that being the fact, it still feels like a body punch to the gut to wake up and find out that my favorite athlete is gone.

R.I.P., Champ.

The Mind of a Child

Posted: October 17, 2014 in children, parents, purpose, society, teachers

I recently spoke in an interview with a young guy that I admire by the name of Jay Mayo.  Jay and I discussed something that I never really studied all that closely.  Something that probably goes unnoticed by most of the people in this country: what is your purpose?

Just about every one of us remembers a time when either a parent, relative, or teacher asked, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
I remember being asked that in 1st grade.  My response, “A king.”
“You want to run your own country?  That’s sweet, Quincy.”
“No, ma’am.  I want to run the world.”
Of course my teacher and classmates laughed.  That is until they saw the photo I drew of myself on a throne and the flag that I designed.  Yeah, I was dead serious.
Fast-forward 37 years later and I haven’t conquered any countries to claim as my own as of yet.  Maybe I’ll get there, but in the meantime I have other things to do.  I have a purpose to fulfill.  You see, my purpose evolved over time, but I had the right mentality for it in place all along.
I had reasons for wanting to be a king: my grandmother worked in a nursing home on the overnight shift for years.  My mom worked long hours as a supervisor in a factory for over two decades.  My father also worked in a factory for around the same amount of time and rarely missed a day of work.  I wanted to become a king because I knew by doing so that my grandmother, mom, and dad would never have to work again.  I wanted to have people do things for them.  
Even as a 6 year old my focus for wanting to rule the world was so that I could share its riches.  Riches don’t necessarily refer to money either.  Wisdom is considered one of life’s greatest wishes in my opinion.  I discovered that my purpose was to help others in some shape, form or fashion. A lot of it I’ve done through giving advice and sharing stories of life experiences here on the blog and over at T2Q.
However, not everyone has realized that they have a purpose.  That’s something Jay pointed out to me that I’d never considered.  The people that I’ve seen on the nightly news who have been arrested for (insert crime here) didn’t recognize their purpose.  No one probably told them that they could truly be something in life and overcome almost any unfortunate circumstance put before them.
Everyone in the world possesses multiple talents and it’s the duty of the parents to discover those talents.  Whether you’re an artist, dancer, architect, scientist, or actor, it’s something within you.  The key to being happy and productive in life is to find something that you enjoy and find reasons to do it!  It’s just that simple!
But, if a kid is never taught that dreams can come true then eventually they’ll stop dreaming.  And they will walk around aimlessly like zombies not knowing where they are going.  Not having a reason or a goal to make life worth living.  One thing that I remember Jay saying is that there is so much “untapped potential in the cemetery.”  People who could have been something if they only knew what that something was to be.
The mind of a child is like a safe that contains riches.  It’s up to us, the adults, to unlock it so that everyone else can benefit from what’s inside.  

Cage fighting simply represents our current culture: fast action. Boxing, once dubbed as the sweet science, is all about strategy. There’s a patience involved in the sport of boxing as you study, approach and then slowly pick apart your opponent. Cage fighting has a bit of strategy involved, but the action is more fast-paced and a majority of the fights end in someone being knocked out or tapping out. It’s a microwave version of boxing. You don’t have to wait on two guys dancing around waiting on an open shot, now you just have two guys throwing punches until one of them connects. The result: cage fighting in; boxing out.

Before I get too far into this, let me state that I do enjoy cage fighting. Boxing will always be my first love (although it will die with my generation), but cage fighting is much more accessible and it is entertaining.

The point I’m trying to make is how society dictates our entertainment. Cage fighting has been around for decades, but now has a following that surpasses boxing because of a young generation of fans who crave action. Since we’re on the subject of sports, let’s discuss how the scoring has gone up in the NFL and MLB. Why? Because rule changes were made within the last decade and a half to allow for more scoring. Scoring gets the attention of our attention-deficit society.

Movies have more fight scenes and explosions than ever now. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol ran commercials 20 times a day. I’ve seen so many commercials for M:I that I feel as if I’ve seen the movie already. In these commercials, they were showing basically every explosion and fight scene in the movie. Explosion and fight scenes gets the attention of our attention-deficit society.

I even had a recent discussion with someone about today’s cartoons. There is no more classical music playing in the background and non-speaking roles a la “Tom & Jerry” or “Pink Panther.” Today, every cartoon features noisy characters and bright colors. Have you watched SpongeBob? Every character yells and the colors on the show could probably trigger a seizure. Noisy characters and bright colors gets the attention of our attention-deficit kids.

So, the sports, movie and cartoon world is just a microcosm of our society. We want constant stimulation to keep our attention. That’s why we can’t walk any where without ear buds in our ears and why we keep our faces buried in our smart phones.

Patience? What’s that? Why should I wait to be entertained? I want it now.

Thoughts and prayers go out to all teachers who try daily to figure out how to keep the attention of today’s children. You have a thankless job and you are severely underpaid.

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Where to start? I wish I knew, but I’ll do the best I can. Buckle up because this is a long one…

It’s hard to say what generation dropped the ball when it comes to our youth. The Generation X group from 1961-1981 would be where I’d start.

We didn’t preserve our core values that our parents (from the Baby Boomer era) taught us. We compromised on our beliefs and because of it, we live in a country full of young, lost souls.

So many of us were raised in two-parent households, but ended up as single parents ourselves. Dads raised their sons to be men, but now that job seems to belong to a lot of women. Women have “worn the pants” in their families for so long that their daughters never seem to learn how to be ladies.

What made us change? Why did we, out of all of the people before us, choose to be the group to compromise our values?

Why did we choose to be the generation to make it “okay” to have children without a two-parent household?

Why did we choose to be the generation to make it “okay” to choose buying a material thing over this month’s rent?

Why did we choose to be the generation to make it “okay” to have enough visible tattoos to make it hard to tell where your shirt ends and skin begins?

Society played a role in it. Corporations got greedy and inflation out-paced salaries requiring more two income households. That meant no more “June Cleavers” staying home while the “Ward Cleavers” went off to work to bring home the bacon.

With both parents now working in households lucky enough to have two, who’s watching the kids?

Well, when I was growing up, I was lucky enough to have responsible adults to look after me while my mom and dad worked. My grandmother lived in my neighborhood and my best friend’s grandmother stayed just two houses down. All of them allowed me access to their homes as if I were their kid and they also kept me in line if I acted up.

What are our options now? Daycare? A system that rarely allows for people who truly have love for your child to nourish, educate, and discipline them? That’s our resolution? To have strangers raise our kids?

My aunt and uncle, who own a daycare, wouldn’t be happy with that statement, but I’m just making a point. 🙂

So, if kids aren’t getting the love, discipline and life lessons at the day care, then it’s pretty much up to the parents (or in most cases, the mother) to instill that at home. Is that easy to do when your child is spending 40 hours a week around strangers learning new habits?

Gen X’ers, we’ve failed our youth. It has led to females who lack lady-like qualities and options in a suitable mate as well as males who are in a perpetual state of boyhood.