Archive for the ‘road rage’ Category


I’m a very calm guy.  In fact, some of my friends wonder if anything bothers me at all.  I can’t help that I’m a very nonchalant guy.  I like to keep things in perspective, so that keeps me grounded.  I’m usually pretty patient, but sometimes, there are some things that can raise my blood pressure.  And it usually involves people not respecting the roadways.

Road rage happens to all of us.  However, some overreact when compared to others.  I don’t angrily blow my horn (any more — people get shot for less) or throw finger signs.  I usually just mentally curse people out in my head and keep it moving.  But there are two things that irk me when it comes to sharing the road:

They acted like we weren’t even there.

Cyclists

If there is any group of people on this planet who seem to feel more entitled to the road, it’s cyclists.  They act as if they have bumpers on their bikes.  Just recently, I was going to visit my grandmother.  She lives kind of off in the country, so the roads are just two lanes for most of the way.  I rolled up behind a group of cyclists.  It was close to 20 of them and they were just pedaling away around 15 mph.  In my mind, I’m thinking, “Well, I’m sure that they’ll get over to the side and allow the cars to pass.  After all, it’s a curvy road, so the only way to get by is for them to allow us to do so.”

Yeah, I don’t know why I thought that.

They rode and chatted for close to 3 miles while me and roughly 8-10 vehicles followed them like we were in a parade.  They never made an attempt to pull over on a side street to allow us by or even ride single file to give us room.  They just left us back there to cruise as if we didn’t exist.  By the time I got to my grandmother’s house, you could probably see a vein popping out of my neck.  If I’d only had a snowplow, I could have just shoved them off in the ditch and kept rolling.

Very frustrating to get stuck at an intersection.

Intersection Blockers

These are the people who pull into an intersection although there’s no room on the other side to clear the lane.  So, when you get the green light to go through, you can’t go anywhere because these numbskulls are blocking your way as in the photo above.

If they only allowed machine guns on the front of cars.

I took that photo at a very busy intersection in Jackson.  Every day at 5 PM, people clog the lanes knowing that they’re blocking you, too.  But, like the cyclists, they don’t care.  Because they obviously think that they’re more important than you and that your time isn’t valuable as theirs.  All you can do is wait on them to clear the intersection and hope that you still have a green light.  If not, you may have to do it all over again with the next set of idiots.

Old schoolers will get this reference.

Conclusion

If I were to ever snap and take a tire iron to someone’s knees some day, then know that one of these two types of people would be the recipient of me going Tonya Harding on them.  People should respect the roadways and everyone on it.  It would make the commute to your destination go that much better if the person next to you is considering you when making decisions.

But that’s not the world that we live in.  Everyone thinks that they’re more important than you and that you should understand that.  That’s why people pull out in front of you, refuse to let you merge, and things of that nature.  Society gets more disrespectful each and every day.  I guess that I may as well get used to it because there doesn’t appear to be enough people willing to change it.


Okay, so I’m leaving a school play on Monday.  My lady’s youngest daughter was in “Little Shop of Horrors” and I had to watch the young, future star do her thing.  I walk outside after the show and make my way to my car.  Keep in mind that it’s 20-30 something degrees and the wind is blowing hard than Monica Lewinsky.  When I get to my car I see that some woman has parked so closely to me that I need a can opener to get into my ride!

Doesn’t this just tick you off?  Don’t you hate it when you park correctly between the lines, but some no-driving hack parks an inch from your side mirror?  Now I’m faced with a dilemma: do I get into the passenger side and climb over the center console into the driver’s seat or do I sit and wait in the freezing cold until the inconsiderate driver comes out of the school?

I chose the latter.  I really wanted to see what the reaction of the man/woman would be as they walked to their vehicle and saw that they only left me five inches to get into my car.  Well, that was a mistake.  I waited.  Waited some more.  Even waited some more.  After close to 15-20 minutes, I see the headlights flash on the SUV indicating that someone was approaching it.  I glance up and here comes a late-30 or early 40-something mom trotting across the parking lot.  With her are two kids who appear to be around 12 and 16.

Immediately my attitude evaporates with the presence of the children.  I may enjoy being a snarky and sarcastic individual, but I do not clown people in front of their children.  It sets a horrible example for the kids and it’s just low class in nature.  However, I do stare at her until she makes eye contact with hopes that she at least will apologize.

Boy, was I wrong.

“I was in a rush.  You know how that is,” is all she said as she climbed into her vehicle and shut the door.

She got in her SUV and pulled out of the parking spot so that her kids could get in.  Her daughter, who appeared to be embarrassed, smiled at me as she approached her passenger door.  I complimented her on her singing during the play.  She had a lengthy solo and her voice reminded me of an unpolished version of Kelly Rowland.  She said “thank you” and told me to have a good evening with an apologetic tone.

Her mom pulled off and I got into my car.  At this point, I’m not even cold any more.  My temperature is elevated because I’m firecracker-hot that this heifer barely acknowledged me as she got her Humpty Dumpty self in her truck.

As I’m warming up my vehicle, I couldn’t help but think about how inconsiderate some jerks are these days.  If she didn’t know after backing into the spot that she was too close to my car then she definitely should have known when she walked past my car to get into the school.  If you’re too busy to look where you’re parking then you don’t need to be driving.  That’s just how I feel.


Okay, so I’m leaving a school play on Monday.  My lady’s youngest daughter was in “Little Shop of Horrors” and I had to watch the young, future star do her thing.  I walk outside after the show and make my way to my car.  Keep in mind that it’s 20-30 something degrees and the wind is blowing hard than Monica Lewinsky.  When I get to my car I see that some woman has parked so closely to me that I need a can opener to get into my ride!

Doesn’t this just tick you off?  Don’t you hate it when you park correctly between the lines, but some no-driving hack parks an inch from your side mirror?  Now I’m faced with a dilemma: do I get into the passenger side and climb over the center console into the driver’s seat or do I sit and wait in the freezing cold until the inconsiderate driver comes out of the school?

I chose the latter.  I really wanted to see what the reaction of the man/woman would be as they walked to their vehicle and saw that they only left me five inches to get into my car.  Well, that was a mistake.  I waited.  Waited some more.  Even waited some more.  After close to 15-20 minutes, I see the headlights flash on the SUV indicating that someone was approaching it.  I glance up and here comes a late-30 or early 40-something mom trotting across the parking lot.  With her are two kids who appear to be around 12 and 16.

Immediately my attitude evaporates with the presence of the children.  I may enjoy being a snarky and sarcastic individual, but I do not clown people in front of their children.  It sets a horrible example for the kids and it’s just low class in nature.  However, I do stare at her until she makes eye contact with hopes that she at least will apologize.

Boy, was I wrong.

“I was in a rush.  You know how that is,” is all she said as she climbed into her vehicle and shut the door.

She got in her SUV and pulled out of the parking spot so that her kids could get in.  Her daughter, who appeared to be embarrassed, smiled at me as she approached her passenger door.  I complimented her on her singing during the play.  She had a lengthy solo and her voice reminded me of an unpolished version of Kelly Rowland.  She said “thank you” and told me to have a good evening with an apologetic tone.

Her mom pulled off and I got into my car.  At this point, I’m not even cold any more.  My temperature is elevated because I’m firecracker-hot that this heifer barely acknowledged me as she got her Humpty Dumpty self in her truck.

As I’m warming up my vehicle, I couldn’t help but think about how inconsiderate some jerks are these days.  If she didn’t know after backing into the spot that she was too close to my car then she definitely should have known when she walked past my car to get into the school.  If you’re too busy to look where you’re parking then you don’t need to be driving.  That’s just how I feel.


Why is it so hard for people to get out of the way?  I don’t understand it.  It’s not difficult at all to realize that sometimes, you have to move.  You would think that it’s a common sense thing, but it’s obviously not.

Friday, I was traveling down a highway on my way home.  There was traffic all over the place due to holiday shopping.  People were blocking intersections and sticking the nose of their car in your lane regardless if you invited them to do so or not.

While I’m sitting in a line of cars waiting on a traffic signal that’s cycled through twice already, I hear a siren.  The first thing that I attempt to do is locate the emergency vehicle so I know what course of action that I need to take.  Well, it appears that I was the only person who was formulating a strategy at the time.  The ambulance was coming up from behind, so I forced my way into the slow lane to make room.  There were about 10-15 vehicles ahead between me and the traffic signal.  The light turned green and only two or three of them moved into the slow lane.  The others continued on their merry way in the fast lane because they wanted to make sure that the traffic signal didn’t catch them again.

Because of this, the ambulance had to ride behind with them with lights flashing and sirens blasting for roughly a full minute before being able to cross through the intersection and bolt up the middle turn lane.  One vehicle even drove beside the ambulance for roughly 50 yards while the ambulance was in the turn lane.

Hopefully, no one suffered through a severe injury or, God forbid, died behind these idiots’ decision to continue driving rather than pulling over.  At one time, I would have blamed an incident like this on young drivers not knowing the rules of the road.  However, the few faces that I saw who were blocking traffic were the faces of adults!  Grown people who thought that it was more important to get through a traffic light than let an ambulance reach its emergency.

What’s wrong with people these days?  Why can’t we get out of the way?  Is our time more valuable than someone’s life?

Careless Drivers

Posted: February 24, 2012 in road rage, travel

“Ba-ba-ba-ba-baby! Don’t forget my number!”

I wonder if I could contact George Michael and have him put the band back together again. Instead of “Careless Whispers,” they could do “Careless Drivers.”

I hate bad drivers. You’ve seen previous posts I’ve done like “Car Wars” or “Why Isn’t This Lady Allowing Me to Merge?” If I could rewrite laws, I’d have bad drivers doing jail time. The latest trend that bugs me when I’m on the road are people who drive with earphones in their ears.

I asked some of my Twitter followers about why so many people are driving with earphones in their ears. Only one of them said for hands-free calling. Just one! Everyone else said they do so to listen to Pandora and iHeartRadio. So, I figured that it’s up to me to make a QSA (Q Service Announcement) to explain to everyone why that could be a bad idea:

The reason it’s illegal in most (if not all) states to drive with earbuds plugged into your dome is because it’s a safety hazard. You can ask the lady who almost ran me over because she couldn’t hear me blow my horn when she pulled into my lane. Or you can even ask this guy “doing the dougie” at the stop light and not realizing until the very last second that a fire truck was trying to get by him. If you can’t hear, then it makes it that much more difficult to drive. A lot of people can’t drive when they can hear, so they definitely don’t need anything else negating their abilities.

There are so many ways to hook up a cell phone or MP3 player to your car stereo, so there’s no excuse for earbuds in both ears. If you only use one, then that’s cool, but to have both ears plugged is just unsafe.

And how people jog or ride bikes on busy streets with both earbuds in amazes me. The level of trust that they have is unbelievable! There’s no way I’m going to have both earbuds in and allow some teen who’s texting to run me down like a victim in “Christine.” I don’t trust my general public that much. I need to be able to hear brakes screeching so I’ll at least have a chance to jump into a ditch.

Do you think driving with earbuds in both ears is a smart move?

Car Wars

Posted: July 9, 2011 in road rage, storytelling

>I can’t stand it when people block an intersection or run a red light. It causes road rage in me more than anything else that can be done. You can cut me off, you can not use your turn signal, you can even drive 50 mph in the fast lane on the interstate. But, if you run a red light and / or block an intersection, then I will murder you with my thoughts.

There is an intersection near my job that puts me through this pain every single work day. This exchange is on a very busy street and if you get stopped by a red light, then you’ll have to wait about three minutes before the next opportunity. Now, three minutes doesn’t sound all that bad, right? But, what if you wait your three minutes and you can’t move because some idiot crossing in front of you is blocking the intersection? Now it’s six minutes.

I’ll tell you a story of what happened to me recently so you’ll better understand why this perturbs me to so much.

5:10 PM – I’m in the burgundy Lamborghini Buick on the diagram above. Now, before I could arrive to my spot, the idiot in the blue car decided instead of waiting for traffic to clear before leaving the gas station, that he would instead just pull out and block two lanes of traffic. He wants to get into the turning lane to go left, but he’s stuck because no one will let him in.

Lesson #1: Don’t pull into traffic unless you have some where to go that doesn’t impede the flow of traffic.

5:12 PM – The turning lane light gives the green arrow and eight cars make it through, but Car #9, the black car shown above, never got a chance to turn, so she now has to wait. My light and the light for the brown car turns green, but we can’t go any where because of the idiot in the blue car. Now, the person behind me is looking at me like I’m a hickey on a priest and it’s my fault we’re not moving. Again, this is a very busy intersection. It is not uncommon for up to 30 cars to be waiting to turn left at any given time. So, we never get a chance to advance through the light which is now red again.

5:16 PM – The black car now has the green arrow, but the idiot in the blue car still has to hope that the gray car (or one of the 10 cars behind it) is nice enough to let him in. And if you leave a gap longer than a car length ahead of you on this street, the light will start to change! Of course it’s my luck that on this particular day, the idiot in the blue car does not catch a break to get into the turning lane. But, instead of backing into the gas station and getting out of the way, he sits there for yet another cycle.

5:17 PM – Once again, the light is green for us, yet we can’t move. I blow my horn out of frustration, but the idiot in the blue car is deaf. Seriously, he’s not deaf, he’s just doing that “I’m-ignoring-you-because-I’m-in-the-wrong-and-can’t-face-you-like-a-man” bit.

5:19 PM – We’re still stuck and the light is red once again…

Do you see why I’m having homicidal thoughts? Next scenario…

I’m in my signature James Bond BMW Buick trying to go to work. As the traffic crosses in front of me, I notice that the cars are starting to slow down. Slowly, this idiot in a pink Mary Kay Cadillac decides to creep into the intersection despite the fact that she has no way of clearing the intersection. She’s basically praying that she clears the lane before he light turns red. Well, that stupid idea didn’t work.

Lesson #2: Don’t start to cross into an intersection until there is room on the other side for you to clear all crossing lanes.

Now the idiot in a pink Mary Kay Cadillac has a red light and guess who has the green? Me! But can I go any where? No, I can’t go any freakin’ where although driving across the hood of her car did cross my mind. So, here we are with two lanes of traffic blocked because someone decided that they were more important than we were. That her time was more valuable than ours.

And how dare we blow our horns at her! After all, what was she to do? She was forced to pull into the intersection prematurely and block two lanes of traffic, right? I should blame the cars ahead of her for not being little Smart cars and allowing her extra room to move forward, right? You’re wrong, woman! Even the guy in dancing in the alien suit with the “We Buy Gold” sign is shaking his head at you!

Idiot. If throwing bricks from your vehicle were legal, my left arm would look like Popeye’s.

These scenarios happen to me at least once, sometimes twice a day. If you run red lights and / or block intersections/traffic, then you should have your license revoked. Because if you have the attitude that your time is more than important than anyone else’s time or safety, then you don’t deserve to drive. In fact, not one of you reading this has the right to drive.

Lesson #3: Driving is a privilege, not a right.

If I had things my way, then there would never be a problem with this ever again at this intersection. At least not when people see my car coming down the block. That’s right, I have a fix for both of the above scenarios, but for some reason, I still can’t get a patent for my idea.


>Had a bout of road rage the other day while in Windsor. I’m leaving the airport on my way to the office. I just picked up a sweet Nissan Altima at Avis and I’m anxious to get on the interstate to see what this baby can do.

I hop on the on-ramp and proceed to get ready to merge onto the interstate. As I come around the loop, some lady pulls beside me in a BMW. So, since I’m just getting ready to merge, I don’t pay her much attention. I’m assuming that she will go on about her business and allow me into the slow lane.

Nope. Not the case. After three or four seconds of riding door-to-door with this idiot, I look over and she’s on her cell phone.

At this point, I realize that my lane is about to end soon, so I need to get over. “There’s no one in the fast lane, so why isn’t this lady allowing me to merge? Can’t she just move over and let me in?”

Nope. Not the case. Her phone call is so important that she’s willing to run me off the road instead of paying attention to her surroundings.

So, I had to punch my accelerator and jump in front of this nut before I ran out of lane. Wouldn’t you know it? After I did so, within a few seconds later, she comes passing me in the fast lane with that phone glued to her head.

“Oh, you can ride beside me for a week, but you can’t ride behind me, you loser? Now you wanna speed up?”

Do they even teach people to be courteous when driving now? Sometimes I think there’s a private school in each city that teaches people how to be blatantly rude to others. Why else does it seem like people purposely do stupid things to make life harder for others unnecessarily?

Do you know how many times I’ve had to use a can opener to get into my car because the idiot beside me has parked into my lane? That means you just parked, got out of your car and didn’t bother to look and see if you were between the lines. Now I have six inches of space between your car and my door.

Or what about those people who see you waiting on a parking spot as they approach their car to leave, but then they get in their car and sit for five minutes before backing out. “If you’re not leaving, then get your foot off of the brake and stop acting like you’re backing out!”

I’m sorry, but I have even more to get off of my chest. Bare with me, okay?

Don’t you hate it when people drive aggressively behind you for a long time? They’re so anxious to pass you and when they finally get the chance to do so, they get back in front of you and go slow again. Now you have to pass them back. “You’re all Dale Earnhardt behind me, but now you’re Driving Miss Daisy in front of me!!!!????”

Yeah, I hate those people, too. In fact, I’m getting road rage here at my desk as I type this. Is that possible? I just had an urge to ram my mouse into the base of my monitor. Is that bad?

Anyway. What else do I hate? I also hate people “on parade”. Those are the idiots on the interstate who get in the fast lane, but do the speed limit. The end result is two cars driving side-by-side because the idiot in the fast lane refuses to speed past the person in the slow lane and allow everyone else behind him to get through. This results in a line of cars a la a parade.

I have a fix for all of the above problems, but for some reason, I can’t get a patent for my idea.

I wonder why?