Archive for the ‘black men’ Category


How many times do we have to scream it before someone acts like they care?

Another unarmed black man has been gunned down.  I’ve lost count of how many have died within the last few years.  If you run, then you get shot.  If you fight, then you get shot.  If you comply, then you get shot.

What does it take to not get shot other than being white?

And don’t feed me that garbage about “he looked threatening” or “he was a bad guy”.  Or my favorite: “we don’t know what he did prior to getting shot”.  Uh, did he pull a weapon and attempt to use it on a cop/civilian?  Because that’s the only reason he should be shot dead.

I can name some very high profile examples of non-blacks who actually had weapons who went to jail instead of the morgue.  One even got taken to Burger King for a meal after killing multiple black people in a church.

The only way to stop these senseless killings is for:

1) Police to admit that they have a problem with their perception of black men in society.  Acknowledging that black men scare you will get the ball rolling on how to fix it.  Yes, there are some intimidating brothas out there, but if you’re scared, then don’t be a cop.  That’s not the right job for you.  Walmart is hiring.

2) Police need to start going to jail when they kill unarmed black men.  “Oh, I didn’t know he was unarmed.”  Well, too bad because you’re still going to get this jail time for involuntary manslaughter if nothing else.  There has to be a consequence to the action.  Paid administrative leave is not a deterrent to shooting someone.  In most cases, these shootings appear to be cold-blooded murders and should be treated as hate crimes.

3) Police need to stop training their officers to shoot to kill.  This within itself doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.  If soldiers overseas have certain protocols that require shooting to kill to be a last resort, then why is it normally the first choice here in the states against our own citizens?  In the latest incident with Terence Crutcher, the cops were close enough to easily shoot Crutcher in the leg if necessary.  But, that’s not what cops do.  They shoot to kill.  It has to stop.

4) Police need to do their jobs!  If your job is to put away criminals, then do so.  Even those criminals are within your police force.  Stop turning a blind eye to your “brother in blue” while families are losing loved ones on the regular.  How can you continue to put on a badge every morning that is simply seen as a piece of tin by black communities instead of something that represents integrity?  Show that you’re to be trusted by doing the right thing!

It’s a shame that I’m 44 years old and I’m terrified to see blue lights while traveling.  The same feeling my dad had in the 50’s and 60’s whenever he drove some where.  Even if you’re polite and accommodating, there is no guarantee that you won’t be a target over a “misinterpretation”.  Imagine an agitated black youth who may not make the effort to be polite or accommodating.  How do you think his day is going to end up?

Colin Kaepernick is never going to get off the ground at the rate we’re going.  I hope that he brought knee pads.  SMH.


There are so many bad things going on in the black community and some changes need to be made. That includes education, jobs, crime, and more. However, something that definitely needs to change is the dynamic between black men and black women.

We as black people have gotten so out of hand that we don’t think that a relationship is normal unless it’s combative. How crazy is that?  We think that loud, brash females are “strong” and that disrespectful, aloof males are “hard.”

We’re confused.

Black baby mamas and daddies try to get leverage on one another (at the expense of the child).  Black men and women always want to say what the other gender is doing wrong without ever evaluating themselves.

We sometimes have no interest in doing what’s right, but more interest in doing what feels right. It doesn’t matter if it sets a bad example for our kids or not. It doesn’t matter if it could affect our job status.  It doesn’t even matter if it contradicts something in the Bible that we’ve read. If we feel it then we do it. It’s completely counterproductive and stupid to think like this.

The dynamic between black men and black women is atrocious and has been for decades now. Every new interaction between a black man and black woman is potentially a bad experience. A black man’s approach to a black woman can get sideways pretty quick and those who have been around it know that I speak the truth.

Some black guys treat every woman the same way.  They make no attempts on trying to distinguish a corporate woman from a THOT.  Ladies are all just lips, hips, and finger tips to these guys.  They step to them all the same disrespectful way and ruin her day with immature foolishness.

These guys make it very difficult for a man with good intentions to even get her attention.  She gets so many disrespectful Facebook inbox messages and so many “Say, Slim?” remarks at the gas station that things of that nature make her assume that the next guy, who may be nice, will be as “thirsty” as the last guy that approached.

On the flip side, some black women tend to think that just by being a black man that you have to accept certain qualities about her.  Some feel that you must allow and account for her less than pleasant and negative reactions to different things simply because “it’s what black women do.”  As if not putting up with stereotypical black woman qualities, that have made reality TV billions, somehow make you less of a man.  That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.  You’re proud of being an a-hole?  Really?  SMH.  Act like a lady and maybe someone out there will treat you like one.

So, much has to change in the black communities, but the relationship between the black man and black woman may be the most important one. Once that’s solved then everything else will start to fall in place. But it can only happen if both sides treat each other with respect and that task should start with the men.

I know that a lot of guys are frowning and mentally throwing shade on the post because you expect women to do everything first, but there’s a reason why I say that:  Black women have never stopped loving black men.  Despite our differences, the frustration from some women is the fact that they still love us, yet we don’t reciprocate the love.  We’ve abandoned her in a storm (it doesn’t matter the reason) and she’s waiting in the rain for us to come back.  It’s up to us as men, to get our women out of the storm.

The very essence of a man is that you take the lead! That doesn’t mean in some things, but in all things. That includes extending an olive branch to our sistas to reclaim the relationships that we once had back in my parent’s generation.

Love, honor, respect, and and most importantly, protect her and she will love you in return with an undying passion.  Her uplifting words will give you the confidence to take on and defeat any of life’s obstacles.