Guess Why You Don’t Have A Mate or Friends?

Posted: February 28, 2014 in conflict, family, reality shows, relationships, tv

I think that it’s ridiculous the number of people that I encounter who have entitlement issues.  Being active on Twitter and Facebook will subject you to so many people who no idea what it takes to be a decent human being yet alone maintain a relationship or a friendship.

Since when did “I get what I want or else” become the standard for relationships/friendships?

Reality TV is the epitome of what not to do in a relationship or marriage.  The reality shows that are centered around family basically show one spouse trying to one-up the other.  It’s all about leverage.  One person is constantly trying to have his or her way without any regards to the other person’s feelings.  It’s the most pathetic way for any couple to live.

Sadly, our kids are being brought up in this environment and yes, they will be worse.  Why?  Because it’s all they know in regards to how relationships work (unless their parents teach them otherwise).  People around 30 years old and up grew up with shows like The Cosby Show or Family Ties.  They know what a normal family looks like.

People between 20-30 grew up on Martin, Living Single, Seinfeld and other shows that promoted shacking or fast-moving relationships.  You didn’t see too many marriages in the 90’s in regards to popular sitcoms.

People under 20 watched The Simple Life, Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of (Insert City Here), Love & Hip-Hop, etc.  They’ve seen nothing but dysfunction in regards to relationships and family structure.  They see constant examples of people disrespecting their mate, family, friends and even themselves.  They think that if someone isn’t doing what they want them to do, then it’s okay to do things to hurt them emotionally, verbally and in some cases physically.

That treatment has now become the standard for a lot of people.  If someone says something to hurt their mate’s feelings, then there are no apologies.  There is no understanding.  Just a “sucks to be you” attitude is all you’ll get from the offender.  Because if you don’t agree with them then you’re their enemy.  It’s personal.  You’re against them.  “How dare you not see my point of view although I don’t care about yours!”

When it comes to friendship, if you find yourself not caring what someone thinks of you, then something is wrong.  I’m not saying that a person’s opinion of you defines who you are, but I am saying that something is fundamentally wrong with someone who is okay with having enemies.

How many of these ignorant memes have you seen on IG:

“Trust gets you killed?” Uh, who are you trusting? Scarface?

I’m not even sure if I know what this means, but it had a ton of Likes on IG.

Excuse the language on the photo, but I wanted to show the pure ignorance that exists in cyberspace.  IG is a place where people with absolutely nothing to say have an audience.  It just reinforces the bad attitudes that we see in society.  If your friend seems to be spending more time with other people than you, then you call them “fake.”  If your mate doesn’t do the things you want them to do, then they’re disrespecting you.  Relationships and friendships grow harder and harder to maintain every day because people just can’t see that their attitude is the problem and not the people around them.

I spend a lot of time chatting with people online and talking to them on radio shows and podcasts.  They all ask the same questions about having friends or a significant other yet refuse to believe that everything starts with them.  Whenever I ask about what they bring to the table they go into defense mode.  It’s always someone else’s fault.  SMH.

What brings about that sense of entitlement that makes a person think they’re always right?
  1. Vinny C says:

    Correction, Q! They're not “enemies”, they're “haters”. Having too many enemies is never a good thing but the more jealous losers there are hating on you only means the more right you are. If you simply relegate everyone who doesn't agree with you to the rank of “hater” you'll never have to accept responsibility for your words & actions ever again.

  2. Quincy S says:

    You're right, Vinny! That is the word I was probably looking for. Because everyone who has confidence about themselves has haters, right? LOL! Calling someone a “hater” is absolutely the best way to escape responsibility from criticism. Great comment!

  3. You are so right. And the memes you have here to accompany the blog makes me wanna puke every time I see one. They make no sense and makes people look immature and stupid.

  4. Carmen H. says:

    People find themselves becoming a product of their environment because they are followers. It is not now, nor has it ever been, cute to be a grown person who finds oneself fighting like a savage. Sad. I'm from the era of Living Single and Martin but I don't remember them having a theme of “shacking” on Living Single. I can't remember when Gina moved in with Martin but I remember her having her own place but I specifically remember an episode where Regine was flustered about moving in with a man because of fear of what her mom would say and Sinclair and Overton didn't live together until they were married. I said all that to say that I believe you are right that what is portrayed on television shapes the mindset of some while it reinforces beliefs in others. I know it reinforced my personal belief of not living with anyone until marriage and certainly not disappointing my mother. This is the time that the parents AND the village need to step up and I uploaded these kids up to dry land from thus slippery slope they are sliding down.

  5. Quincy S says:

    Exactly. They rarely make sense or even apply to the person who is posting it.

  6. Quincy S says:

    I agree, C, but I think we've lost “the village.” Neighborhoods don't always survive from generation-to-generation, so there's no one you can really trust to look after your kids like our neighbors did with us as a kid. Also, being followers is what a lot of young people are notorious for doing. They can't think on their own. They have to watch TV for instructions and it's sad.

  7. I loved both Martin and Living Single. However, they promoted fornication and the idea that whimsical relationships, hook-ups and the friends with benefits term. When we lost shows like The Cosby Show and Family Ties, we starting moving away from the idea of the family structure. Nowadays TV shows that promote functional family units with a father and a mother don't do well in the ratings and ultimately gets canceled. Because that is not what folks want anymore, real or fictional.

  8. Quincy S says:

    I agree 100%. Family structure isn't a concern these days. Being a family doesn't even mean marriage now. A child and a dog can be considered a family now.

  9. Suzie A. says:

    We're in a world where people have a sense of entitlement. Everyone thinks they deserve all the best things in the world without having to earn it. This is more true of younger generations than older ones. It's a world where nothing is ever good enough and the illusion of choice is killing the dating and relationship world. Great post!

  10. We live in a society where no one wants to work for anything, they just want it handed to them. As Suzie said: entitlement. That pretty much sums up the world today. This certainly translates from every day life into people's dating lives. They feel they don't have to compromise with anyone because they should just get what they want. Great post!

  11. Quincy S says:

    Thanks, Suzie! Unfortunately, things will get worse before they get better. Nothing is being done to address it. Parents are still dropping the ball.

  12. Quincy S says:

    Thanks, BSG! You're right. There's no need to reciprocate these days. People just think you should be grateful just to be with them or something. It' pathetic.

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