What I Learned from The Best Man Holiday Movie

Posted: December 27, 2013 in appreciation, cancer, death, family, friends, love, movies, regret

Normally, I reserve taking a trip to the movie theater for action films.  I just feel like I can get more bang for my buck to see/hear explosions on the big screen.  Comedies and dramas seem more appropriate for Netflix at home.

However, since I’m in a relationship now, those decisions aren’t always mine.  So, when something comes out that she wants to see, then I make it my business to give her the same courtesy of going as she does for me.  This recently included the movie, “The Best Man Holiday.”
It’s a sequel to the 1999 movie, “The Best Man” which was about some dude who got married to a woman who cheated on him with his best friend.  Well, there was more to it than that, but I don’t want to get into all of that.
Anyhoo, this movie has been rated only 5 or 6 stars out of 10 from most movie review websites.  I tend to disagree.  This movie had everything: singing, comedy, drama, tragedy, and even action.  
Because of the ratings, this movie will probably not win any major awards.  The actors, who were all on-point, will not be walking the red carpet with any hardware for their efforts either.  Mainly because most people prejudge this movie before even walking into the theater.  After all, it’s a “black movie” to most of the critics.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  You could have substituted any race in this movie and it would have still been virtually the same.  
What I got most from the movie is that TBMH really taught some life lessons throughout those 123 minutes.  I can say that definitively because it hit really close to home in regards to one of the main plot lines.
* SPOILER ALERT * (skip to the Spoiler Alert ending if you plan on seeing this movie)
It hit close to home for me because it involved a man on the verge of starting the “cruise control” part of life who lost his wife to a slow death — cancer.  Morris Chestnut’s character, Lance, had to learn how draw strength from his wife’s suffering.  She taught him how to love, forgive, and appreciate.  He did everything that she said because he knew that she was telling him “the right thing.”  You tend to take things a lot more seriously coming from the mouth of someone who is dying.
The viewers of this movie will learn that, too.  At least I hope that they will.  Too often I see people who don’t appreciate what they have in their family and friends.  They take people for granted with the utmost of confidence that they’ll always be around.  They treat people poorly not thinking of how that person could be gone with the next breath.  They dismiss opportunities to spend time with someone because they assume there’s always tomorrow.  They never miss a good thing until it’s taken away from them.
That’s not me.  Although there are some things I would do differently if I had a do-over with my mom and The Mrs. if they were still alive, I have no regrets.  I enjoyed them while they were here and never stopped showing my appreciation.  It doesn’t mean that I didn’t have lapses.  There were times I could have been a better son/husband.  But, I’m human.  Those things will happen.  I’ve learned from those lapses and it has made me a better son to my father and I’ll be an even better husband when that time comes.
The main thing is that now that they’re gone, I can look myself in the mirror and say with confidence that I showed them that I loved them both.  For those of you who have never lost a parent, child, close friend, etc., can you do the same?  
If someone in your household died tomorrow, can you honestly look in the mirror and say that “I gave them 100% of me?”  Will they take their last breath knowing that you love them?
  1. We should give people our all while they're here and we're here. I know you miss your mom and wife very much.

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