Psycho Dad, Part I

Posted: May 14, 2012 in domestic abuse, storytelling

Most of the stories that I tell are humorous in nature. Well, I must unfortunately give the disclaimer that there’s nothing humorous about this post other than maybe the title…

Okay, so here’s the scenario: I’m mid-20’s, living alone in my own home and I’m single. I had two female associates that I’d known since high school who were dying to see my new place. I figured I’d invite both of them over one Friday night and we’d have a belated house warming party. I had no idea that things would take a turn for the worse…

Mia and Rachel (pronounced ra-shell) arrive at my house around 9 PM. They parked near the street despite room in my driveway. I got ready to ask why they didn’t park in the driveway, but since a car was passing by unimpeded, I thought nothing of their decision. My cousin, Jay, and I are playing a little music and having a few drinks by the time they’d arrived. Mia and I have a brief history. We never dated, but did share a kiss once when we were back in high school. We had discussions about me being “her first,” but neither one of us seriously pursued that happening. I think she wanted me to take the lead on things, but I never did. I was actually interested in her friend, Rachel, who once gave me a chance to get to know her better a few years later, but I turned it down because she’d recently dated a friend of mine. Now that dude and I are no longer friends, I regret not at least trying.

Anyway, I invite them into my den and pass them something to drink. Both girls are now seniors in college and looking to blow off some steam. As they start dancing in the middle of the room, Jay and I are just sitting back and wondering if we’re going to hit the club later that night. That’s when I get a knock at my door. “You invite someone, Jay?” I ask.

“Nope,” he said with a confused look, “I figured it would just be the four of us.”

I walk to the door wondering if it’s a neighbor or something although I knew my music wasn’t that loud. I get to the door and see a 20-something, 5’9″, skinny black dude with glasses. “Hey, can I help you?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’m looking for my sister, Mia,” he said.

“Okay, hold on,” I say as I close the door and make him wait.

I know that Mia doesn’t have a brother. Who is this dude? He has to be a boyfriend or something. As I return back to my den with a confused look, Mia and Rachel turn my direction. “Uh, Mia, your ‘brother’ is outside” I said.

Mia’s face turned as white as a sheet. Rachel looked concerned, too. “Are you going out there?” Rachel asked.

Mia didn’t say a word and slowly walked towards the door. “Who is it?” Jay asked me.

I paid him no mind as I walked over to the window to see the interaction between the two as she walked outside. They both walked to his car which was parked near the street. I immediately recognized the car as the same one driving slowly past my house when I invited the ladies inside. Rachel and Jay walk over to the window as well and that’s when Rachel leaks the fact that Mia’s so-called brother was actually her boyfriend.

I take an immediate sigh of relief that he wasn’t the crazy type because he could have easily been upset with me thinking I was after his woman. Luckily, he didn’t try anything stupid when I opened the door for him initially. So, as we sit there and watch, just as I started to get bored and think nothing of this boyfriend showing up, it happened…

Dude grabbed Mia by the back of the head and put his finger in her face. “Whoa,” started Jay, “dude is getting a bit rowdy out there.”

They were standing near the street, so we were unable to hear the conversation. Dude then smacked Mia with an open hand and knocked her down to the street. “Oh, snap!” I said with a stunned look on my face.

“Help her!” Rachel pleaded as she looked at me and Jay.

Jay and I looked at each other as if to ask “which one of us is going out there?”

Before I could respond with “call the police,” dude walked back to his car and drove off. Mia gets up and comes back inside. “We need to go,” she says to Rachel with tears in her eyes.

Rachel grabs their purses and the ladies both leave without saying a word.

Jay and I both have confused looks on our faces as the door closes behind them. Did we see that correctly? A guy assaults his girlfriend in front of my home and she just leaves? Where was she going? To the police?

I asked Jay if he was going to go out there to help her when Rachel asked. “Only if you were going out there, too,” he replied. “I’m not trying to get shot over some BS.”

“Yeah, I feel you on that,” I started, “because I was just going to call the police. He could have had a weapon in his car.”

Now, there’s more to this story that I will share at a later date. This wasn’t my last meeting with Pscyho Dad. I have to explain where he got his name from, right?

Let me just add that no man should ever put his hands on a woman (or a woman put hers on a man). A man hitting a woman is one of the most cowardly acts on the planet that comes to my mind. If you are unsatisfied with her or something that she did, then leave. It’s just that simple, guys. You can’t physically force a woman to conform to your wishes/demands… ever.

What would you have done to assist her without knowing if her boyfriend had a weapon or not in his car?

  1. I'm hoping this story ends with you and a group of friends beating the shit out of him, but I'm sure it's tougher when the dude knows where you live.

  2. Baur says:

    Thats crazy scary!

  3. You want to see me go white girl crazy on somebody you just let them put their hands on me. NOBODY and I mean nobody has ever hit me. Have I tested people's patience? Damn straight I have. Did I deserve a spanking as a kid? Maybe. My parents taught me by example that hitting was not okay. They may have spoken sternly to me and when a voice got raised in my direction it was enough to bring tears to my eyes. That was enough to make me stop. So help the first man who thinks he has the right to hit me. So. Fucking. Help. Him! I've been "play" slapped by a male friend once and the rage I went into scared the shit out of him. I can't put myself in her shoes, or any abused woman, and hope to hell I never can. That is the one thing I would NEVER tolerate. Oh hell no. More so if I'd been there and seen that I'd have been the first one pushing out the door and kicking that dude's ass. I've jumped between a man & his girlfriend when he went at her with a knife. Everyone else got out of dodge and I ran right between them. Maybe my glare is a super power because he immediately handed it over to a bartender and said, "I'm sorry, Miss." then I led his girlfriend away from him. Nobody gets hit with me around. Fuck that noise. Okay-end rant.

  4. Thank, Q says:

    I didn't get to go Tyson on dude, but I did encounter him again about three years later.

  5. Thank, Q says:

    It really is. So much more could have gone wrong that night. It was just a night that I'm sure everyone wishes they could forget.

  6. Thank, Q says:

    That's a super power that I wish I had. I wish I could glare at someone and get them to comply. Jewels, no one should have to endure that. I think it should be "one and done" whenever that happens in a relationship. No second chances. What for?

  7. It is a hard call what to do as you said the dude may have had a gun in his car, so many times someone trys to help and end up in hospital themself so as I said it is a hard call to make…………Men who hit women are not men they are boys trying to be all tough…….I loved Jewels commnet here. I also have never been abused and hope I never am but I can tell you it is a deal breaker for me

  8. Thank, Q says:

    It definitely should be a deal breaker, Jo-Anne. I definitely didn't want to rush to play hero and have something horrible happen. For a family member, yes, but for someone I didn't even know had a boyfriend, all I could do is maybe call 911.

  9. Vanessa says:

    If I had seen something like that, I'd be standing in shock too long to think about what to do. Intervening yourself probably would have only escalated the situation.

  10. Thank, Q says:

    I believe that it would have, Vanessa. I'm just glad that he didn't act up as soon as I opened the door. You hear stories on the news all of the time about people being shot for no reason. Well, most of the time, there's always a reason. Some jealous guy attacks some other guy who hadn't a clue that he existed.

  11. It is so hard to know what to do. I have a similar story, "A Story of Domestic Violence" I always wondered what more I could have done, it's scary. If a guy is beating on a woman, then he's already lost it and you don't know what else he'll do or whether he'll punish the woman for her friends stepping in. On the other hand, can't just look the other way. Gotta do something. I'll wait for Part II. Ugh. Hate this stuff.

  12. Cari says:

    Well I would like to think I'd go ninja on his ass and scissor kick him. That being said, I might have just called the police because I could've gotten hurt too. I have come to the aide of a friend getting slapped around, which only caused me to get slapped around. I think the best thing to do is to yell, I'm calling the police and do it. Usually in domestic violence scenarios such as this, dude or lady know they will be going to jail so they usually scurry. Ugh. I hope Psycho Dad has some Karma coming his way.

  13. Thank, Q says:

    Yeah, it's very uncomfortable. Part II isn't as bad, but I won't ruin it. I feel for any person in this situation.

  14. Thank, Q says:

    Calling for help is the best thing to do in that situation. It's the safest route to take.

  15. Lawfrog says:

    Something somewhat similar happened to me once. I was living in an apartment and was watching a movie with the ex (he wasn't the ex at the time) when we heard what sounded like a loud banging. We both thought it was the movie since it was an action film and there was a lot of noise, but then I told him to shut it off because I thought the noise was coming from next door. Long story short, I was right. The guy next door was beating up on the woman who lived there. He left and both the ex and I went to her apartment. The ex went back to our place to call the police while I stayed with the girl in her place. She had a young baby at the time as well. It was a mess. Anyway, her husband/boyfriend/whoever he was came back. My ex chased him off by letting him know the police had been called. He didn't go quietly, but he did go. It's hard to know what to do in situations like this. You don't want to put yourself in danger, but at the same time you want to help. And, in your case, there is the shock of it all – you can't believe you're seeing someone do something like that. It's like watching a movie scene and you're kind of paralyzed by it all. You can't think quickly. Been there a few times.

  16. Thank, Q says:

    Hey, Lawfrog! That does sound scary. That reminds me of another time where I did get caught up in a stranger's mess. In fact, I think I need to blog about that as well.You're right. You can't think quickly enough in those situations because most of us think self-preservation first. We don't want to put ourselves in harm's way. There are some special hero types who don't think, they just act, but I'm a thinker. I have to be two steps ahead in everything I do, and step 1 is me asking the question: "how do I know he doesn't have a gun?"

  17. Richard says:

    Man what an intense story. Sorry you had to be apart of such a thing. I really hope justice is brought to this asshole; hitting a woman is completely unacceptable, you're right on.

  18. Katy B says:

    Dang … that's a tough call! A friend and I happened upon a male/female fight in progress in a parking garage when I moved to a large city. She warned me not to get involved, and I've felt bad about it ever since then. I did yell at some teen boys fist fighting in a yard once that I was calling the police. Ironic that the first question asked by the 911 operator was whether anyone had a gun. There's no way I'd have gotten in the middle of them, especially with my young son in the car, but assault is a crime no matter who is involved and no matter the circumstances. Yelling out "STOP" and telling them the police were on the way was the least I could do. There are consequences for illegal actions in a civilized society. It's just too bad when there isn't enough time for the police to catch them.

  19. Thank, Q says:

    Thanks, Richard. I do think that this was an act of a coward. If I were bulletproof, I would have choke-slammed his skinny self.

  20. Thank, Q says:

    You're right. The police are under-staffed and underpaid. Even when they make arrests, the court system smacks them on the wrists and lets them go.It's a shame that we live in a society where things like this occur and you feel just as helpless as the victim being assaulted.

  21. Anonymous says:

    You with NICHOPLO?that's what we got.We got you're on DANA FREDST with DOT- ETHERLANDS and no you 're " GORKED".problem is way more than you think.There's a movie coming out called " KANSAS KINGS".And believe it or not, since you didn't help either of those women out, we don't like you.THANK Q.From ONRESEA.

  22. Thank, Q says:

    Well, other than you not liking me, I can't really make out what you're saying. I can't tell if you're spamming me with the wording you've included or if you're just a six year old who got his/her hands on his mom's laptop.Either way, thanks for commenting! 🙂

  23. Katsidhe says:

    Wow, what a first entry to read of yours. Having experienced abuse, I hope the story ends with the guy being curb-stomped.

  24. Thank, Q says:

    "Curb-stomped?" LOL! I like that. Well, Katsidhe, I hope that you return because there are over 300+ more post here and 95% of them will make you smile!

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