Real Housewives of Panama City Beach

Posted: April 20, 2012 in reality shows, storytelling, women

Last week, while on vacation, I was part of a reality show without realizing it. The Mrs. and I were on vacation in Panama City Beach, FL and decided to hit up a restaurant called The Egg & I. Great restaurant, by the way. Anyhoo, we were seated right next to a couple of ladies who had plenty to say and didn’t use their “inside voices.”

One lady was blond and looked to be in her late 40’s. She was dressed in a really nice slimming dress and her heels looked expensive. Her makeup was well-done and her hair was in place. The 2nd lady was brunette, looked late 30’s and I didn’t get to see her ensemble since she was seated already by the time The Mrs. and I were seated. However, she was “reality show attractive” with her hair and makeup in place.

The blond and I are sitting back-to-back in our booths, so everything she says is loud and clear to me. However, I simply tuned her out and The Mrs. and I ordered our food (pancakes, scrambled eggs and turkey sausage) and she started surfing on the iPad while I checked Twitter. As I’m perusing my tweets, I tried not to do so, but couldn’t help but overhear the conversation between the two ladies seated behind us. It went something like this…

“I’m going to get my tits done and when I do, my husband is not going to benefit from them one bit.” said the blond.

“You’re leaving him?” asked the brunette.

“He bores me.” replies the blond.

I pay the conversation no mind, but the next sentence I heard really got my attention…

“I had to rush to get my taxes done,” started the blond. “I got someone to do it for me for free. I had to give him a blow job first though.”

“Really?” replied the brunette as if that’s an everyday thing. “Girl, at least yours are done.”

Now, my ears have perked up like a police dog. Did I hear her correctly? She went “bobbing for taxes?” I hope she at least has a refund coming. I listened closer to their conversation…

“Did you see what Debra had on today?” asked the blond.

“No, what was it?” the brunette inquired.

“She was wearing her ‘come rape me’ dress” the blond answered with a sarcastic overtone. “The same one she wore the week before she got that new advertising account.”

“Girl, it must be working then because she’s been all smiles with her commission checks” said the brunette.

So, our food arrives and I’m distracted from the conversation. The Mrs. keeps looking at me oddly because my eyes are bigger than hubcaps. “Can you hear these ladies behind me?” I whisper.

“What?” she asked more focused on her turkey sausage.

At this point, despite how good my raspberry granola pancake looks, I try to get refocused on the conversation behind me. It’s like listening to the “Real Houswives of Panama City Beach” or something. Maybe I should be looking for a camera crew…

“Girl, who did your Botox last time?” the brunette asked.

“I can’t remember his name because he sucked,” started the blond, “I had to tuck my cheeks behind my nose less than a week later because of the crappy job he did.”

“Girl, you should use my guy” the brunette says. “He did my lips, too.”

“They do look good!” the blond compliments. “Maybe you can get your taxes done, too!”

(They LOL!)

At this point, I couldn’t make out the conversation as much. However, what I heard was an earful! I know everyone has a friend that you may get down and dirty into conversation with at times, but that loudly in public?

Here’s what I said on Twitter while the conversation was going on. Start at the bottom and work your way up.

Have you ever overheard an inappropriate conversation?

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Comments
  1. I got your back Randy…and my slap is no joke…should wake you right up. I have absolutely heard conversation like this while out and am not one bit surprised that you heard something like that in Panama City Beach FL. lol. I only went there, once, for Spring Break and it was FREAKING INSANE! Even the locals, though put out at the young drunk invasion, were still nuts! Sure, I get together with the girls and we'll talk like this but we are classy and do it over wine in the privacy of our own homes! Girls are filthy mouthed and perverted but the ladies keep that shit out of the public. So special.

  2. Thank, Q says:

    Jewels, I was stunned. I know people say crazy things, but these ladies were speaking loud enough for almost anyone to hear. I guess it's just that reality show mentality.

  3. Tiffany says:

    "Bobbing for taxes". I'm so done… LMAO!!!

  4. Thank, Q says:

    LOL! Well, I didn't know any other way to describe it at the time. 🙂

  5. Q. I've been wondering where to go for a few days, so thanks for the idea. I'm printing fake business cards:Dr. Mooner JohnsonMobile Professional Services, IncorporatedBoard Certified Plastic Surgen and CPA"Tits and taxes while you wait."

  6. Thank, Q says:

    LOL! LOL! LOL! "Tits and taxes while you wait" or "while she works?"

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