TQ Presents… @According2Jewls

Posted: April 18, 2012 in according to jewels, beauty, guest post

I generally try to put out three blog posts per week, but from time-to-time, I get caught up with other things: The Mrs., work, football, etc. This time, I’m on vacation. Hopefully, by the time you read this, I’ll be back home from Panama City Beach, FL. So, I figured, why not solicit some of my favorite bloggers to take up the slack for me. Yeah, that’s right, I can facilitate my blogging duties to others! How lazy wonderful is that?

I’ve asked my blog crush, who once called me a BILF, to pretty up my blog a bit. She has tons of writing talent and if you’ve never seen her site, then do yourself a favor and check her out at According to Jewels.

Well, I’m going to let her do her thing. Take it away, Jewels.

Get Your Hands Off Me

I have always been jealous of women with good hair. As a kid I had hair so long I would sit on it in school and yell at the kid behind me for pulling it. It was a medium blonde shade and beautifully wavy. Somewhere along the line hormones and genetics caused my gorgeous hair to convert to a mass of dark brown curls. I’m talking curls!

It took a while…a long while and a lot of tears but I love my curls now. I have embraced them and I think they are sexy. Despite the fact that study after study have reported that men prefer straight haired women (abc news did a study that showed the same woman pictured with straight and curly hair received higher marks from men when she had straight hair) over curly haired. Sure it takes a little extra prep time to get ready to head out and yes, I check the weather and the humidity levels before deciding to wear my hair up or down.

I know plenty of women who say that they love to straighten their hair (my sisters included) and I think they are insane! My hair is thick and insanely curly and the few times I’ve let people straighten my hair…it takes FOREVER and at the slightest hint of moisture it curls again…why freaking bother!

“Touch my hair, lose your hand.”

My hair gets brushed ONLY when wet. That’s just the way curly hair works. You see my hair is full of individual ringlets; beautiful spirals of silky dark brown hair that shine in the sun. Those ringlets are say 20-40 hairs thick, coiled around each other in a lovely way, embracing one another and when that ringlet is brushed out those hairs separate and a white girl afro appears in that ringlets place. It is NOT pretty!

While I wish my hair was the kind a man could run his fingers through, its not. When the little girl I nanny for wants to play and brush my hair I have a mini panic attack. When guys want to pull on my curls and run their hand over my hair I want to slap their hand away. Don’t ask, “Is your hair naturally curly?” then reach out to touch it before waiting for a response! Yes, yes it is and it’s temperamental so lay off. Do not coo, “Oh my gosh, look at that precious ringlet! It’s so tight and bouncy!” and then tug it down to watch it spring back up. That is only fun for you and will seriously piss me off. Do not say, “Do you know how much I’d pay for curls like that!?” and then pet my head…I don’t care if you have to pay for it…I have to manage it, get off!

If I’m in a relationship with somebody then chances are they have seen me in the morning or after being caught in the rain and therefore witnessed the afro so I’m not as worried but for the average guy at a bar just talking to me…if you try to touch my hair you WILL lose a hand. Period. There are times when I don’t care if you touch my hair. If we are kissing and you want to frame my face or tuck it behind my ear or play with it I’m fine with it. If we are having sex…by all means get in there! I love well placed tugs and pulls on my hair and don’t care if you turn into the King of Clips in order to get a better view of me going down on you. If it’s already humid out and it’s beyond help anyway then you’re safe. If we aren’t going out and you want to play go ahead…as long as I don’t need to be seen in public I’m cool.

Okay…now I sound psychotic…in reality I have never lashed out at anyone who touched my hair…but I’ve wanted to. And little kids with brushes who want to play with it really does make me panic. I sometimes wish it was nice and straight and smooth and guys could run their hands through it without getting their hand stuck in it but that’s just not my lot in life. I wish it was something I didn’t have to think about but it is. I am at a point where I’m not going to kill myself 45 minutes to an hour a day to make it straight, damaging my hair in the process, and then obsessing over if it’s straight enough. My hair is curly, it’s always been wavy/curly and it always will be.


  1. Thank, Q says:

    She's making it more tempting, isn't she? I think she really wants people to touch her hair and this is a cry for help.

  2. She is exaggerating! I did not put a hit on her…I merely hinted that I could find out where she lived and send a "friend" to visit if she didn't come over and visit. I fail to see why she took it so seriously. There is nothing threatening about that. Geez.

  3. I promise you that it is not a cry for people to touch my hair. lol. I understand after these comments though that have just made it forbidden and therefore more desirable to do so. I suppose you'll both just have to weigh the risks. 😉

  4. Thank, Q says:

    Sounds like a hit to me. LOL!

  5. Ha! I don't even let my own kids touch my hair. And a guy has to have a green light for everything else before he can touch my hair. Truth. And I just explained to my girls that they must check the weather before deciding on how to wear their hair. Heat, humidity, rain = ponytail.

  6. Thank, Q says:

    Wow. That much planning goes into it? I had no clue. I'm so glad that I'm bald. LOL!

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