I Think My Wife Is Trying to Kill Me

Posted: July 23, 2011 in crime, relationship, The Mrs.

Ok, not really. But, I did get your attention, huh? My wife watches “ID” or what you may have come to know as the Investigation Discovery channel… constantly. For those who have not had the pleasure of watching this channel, it’s basically show-after-show-after-show of people murdering other people. Listen to these show names: “Wicked Attraction,” “Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry?,” “Nothing Personal,” “I (Almost) Got Away With It,” and “Deadly Women.”

Really, ID? Over the past few months, I’ve come to notice that every time I go into the bedroom, the TV is on this channel. Most of the time, I’d watch two or three minutes of it and then walk out. After a while, I started paying attention to the nature of these cases: spouses being killed, missing bodies, murder-for-hire, etc. Wait. What?

When I started dating The Mrs., she was really into “Law & Order.” In fact, she’s the reason I’m all into crime-time TV now with the L&O series and the CSI series (except for CSI: NY which sucks to me). Now it’s real-life drama she’s watching? Instead of to Maritza Hargitay and Ice-T it’s Carla Hughes and Chiman Rai?

These cases are always sad, but also goes to show how unstable people are in the world. It still amazes me, no matter how many news stories I watch, how people are so selfish, insecure or both, that they take a person’s life at the drop of a hat. It may be out of jealousy for someone full of rage or just murdering a person because the funeral would be cheaper than the divorce. I watch some of the shows with her and in so many instances the person has a chance to just walk away, but instead, they choose to take a life. “If I can’t have you, then no one can.”

These shows are twisted, yet interesting. I can see the appeal and how easily someone can get sucked into sitting down a bit to see how a show ends. But, the bedroom TV stays on ID, 24-7.

Memo to The Mrs: I know you’re reading this. Don’t forget that I’ve watched 20 years worth of L&O reruns, so don’t think that I don’t know how to leave behind clues for investigators!

Again, I’m kidding. The Mrs. isn’t that type of person to make me wonder “Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry?” But then I thought about it and realized that those victims on the shows probably said the same thing about their spouses. So, I’ve hired someone to taste my food now. I’m not saying she’s plotting against me, but if you go a week and don’t notice a blog post from me, then send someone, please?

  1. Jewels says:

    Loved this post. haha. I am addicted to these kinds of shows, NCIS, CSI, Criminal Minds…most of it because of my fascination with psychology and the way the criminal minds work. People, especially insane people, fascinate me. That being said…I promise to send the search party your way if you go silent for too long.

  2. cakeologist says:

    Too funny! I watch that channel constantly as well…I tell my husband I am leaning what NOT to do since everyone on those shows has been caught. Today I learned about green jello and anti-freeze:)

  3. Thank, Q says:

    @ Jewels – I appreciate you at least volunteering to send a search party. LOL! You're too kind!@ Cakeologist – (Memo to self: never eat green Jell-O) Thanks for the tip. Maybe I should DVR those shows so I know what to avoid! πŸ™‚

  4. Mynx says:

    Not to keen on the real life stuff but I love shows like Bones, Castle NCIS & Hawaii 5 o. No truth in the rumor that I only watch for the hot guys, none at all

  5. Lawfrog says:

    I love that channel! I'm also a big fan of Snapped too πŸ™‚ This is a great post. I wrote something along the same lines a couple of years back on my blog. I just don't get people who kill their spouses for insurance money and so on. It's especially amazing to me when they take out large life insurance policies and then kill the person a week later. At least wait a year, GEEZE!Here's a link to my short post about this topic: http://lawfrogtx.blogspot.com/2009/03/desperation.html

  6. Thank, Q says:

    @ Mynx – Of course you don't watch for the guys! Just like I watch Halle Berry movies for her stellar (* cough *) acting. :)@ Lawfrog – Thanks! "Snapped" is on another level! And you're right. People get greedy and don't at least exhibit some patience when it comes to trying to collect insurance money. I couldn't get your link to work, so why don't you e-mail or tweet it to me (contact info in bio) and I'll be more than happy to link it to my post.

  7. Channels like that entertain me. Kind of like Spike's "Manswers" program. You kind of wonder how these shows are staying alive, then you find yourself addicted to them.

  8. Thank, Q says:

    @ LiI – True. It's easy to get addicted to anything that considered morbid by the average person. How do you think Flava of Love got two seasons? LOL!

  9. I LOVE that channel and all of those shows! But then again, I happen to have a morbid fascination (and unfortunately magnetic attraction) with antisocial personality types/sociopaths. Yeah. I need to quit that. Or else one of these days I'll be the subject (read: victim) of one of those shows! lol

  10. Thank, Q says:

    @ Reck – I can't see you being a victim to any thing. Nor can I see you covering up a murder. Taking part in a beat down, maybe, but killing someone? Nah! πŸ™‚

  11. Tiffany says:

    LOL! Hubby and I could watch these shows together for eternity and NEVER get tired of them. Anything on ID, A&E and TruTV – we're all over it! The shows are so intriguing!! I guess it's sort of unnatural to be entertained by other people's misery, but oh well.

  12. Thank, Q says:

    @ Tiffany – You all can have it. LOL! I do admit that some of the shows are interesting (crime shows), but I'm not into the people who collect cats, clothes, etc. Those people have mental issues to me and I feel they're being exploited. I'll just stick to politics and sports. πŸ™‚

  13. You are hilarious! I stumbled your post. Mine is How to Save For Your Child’s College Tuition Practically. Have a great week!

  14. I know so many people addicted to these shows! I wonder if they've spurred more people to be detectives and join the police force ;-)Stumbled.

  15. Thank, Q says:

    @ Cleverly Changing – Thank you! I'll be sure to check yours out as well!@ Charise – I hope it's influencing more people to be detectives than criminals. πŸ™‚

  16. bigguysmama says:

    Seriously, waaaay too funny!Mimi

  17. Thank, Q says:

    @ bigguysmama – Thanks! And thanks for stopping in!

  18. I have asked a question similar to this topic before and was helped out, but now id like to get specific. In the beginning of the movie he (Mark) posts on a blog as he works on the girl rating site, “FaceMash”, and as well as bash his ex girlfriend he updates his progress on creating the site. If anyone can directly quote this part of the movie I would be much obliged. Please and Thank You!.

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