You Marry Their Family

Posted: June 5, 2011 in drama, family, marriage

>When you marry someone, you marry their family. There’s no way around it.

Will you find yourself in the middle of in-law drama?

So many happy couples have the absolutely worst in-laws and it causes problems. I’m so happy to have in-laws who are wonderful. My mother and father-in-law are great people who have treated me like a son. My brothers-in-law have all accepted me and have been a lot of fun to hang around from time-to-time. My nieces and nephews are bright kids ranging from ages 12 – 25 who will grow up to be good people. My family also love my in-laws. In fact, my parents and The Mrs.’ parents have known each other for over 40 years and they get along very well.

But, I lucked out. So many others have situations that they “married into” that they are regretting now. I remember dating a lady back in the mid-90’s who had a brother with a drug problem. He was a user and a dealer (which is never a good combination). He would smoke his own product and get so high that he’d forget that he smoked it. Then he would accuse everyone in his household that they stole it from him. Her mom was an alcoholic who spent most of her days on the front porch. It was very sad and the end-result was a very short relationship with that girl (roughly six weeks). I didn’t want to subject myself to those type of people on a regular basis. Besides, I saw some of those bad habits in her as well. She was always looking for a fast buck and she wasn’t motivated to work. Despite the fact that she was cute and was really into me, I had to do what I felt was best long term.

You’ll have to accept the family for who they are.  All of them.

Over the years, I’ve met some people who have had similar, if not worse, situations, yet they chose to “ride out the storm.” Almost all of them ended up separated, divorced, or stuck in a volatile marriage. You may think that you’re marrying the person and not their family, but that’s not the case. Unless it’s a situation where you live far away from that family and have little contact, you could be subjecting yourself to inherited drama.

So, know your limits on what you can and cannot endure. Understand that your family may have to interact with your spouse’s family regularly. So, it’s important that they all be on the same maturity level and get along.

Your family may have to interact with them as well.  Perfect fit or not?

Is it absolutely necessary that your spouse’s family are perfect people? No. But, be prepared for a lot of gray hairs if everyone doesn’t mesh.

Hey, while you’re here, check out my guest posts that I’ve done over at Sonia’s site ( and Brandon’s site(

How Do You Protect Your Brand? (guest post) ~ LogAllot

Mommy, Look at the Penguins! (guest post) ~ My Own Private Idaho

  1. Xmas Dolly says:

    >Oh lordy isn't that the truth. HI Saw you over a Daft Scotts Lass. She was picked for our Spotlight Dance over at Monday's Music Moves Me. This week's theme is a freebie meaning you get to post whatever kind of video you want or a link to one. Come on over and check us out & see our friend in the Spotlight Dance. Woo HOO I'm your latest follower. Very Nice to meet you! Hope yuo have time to check us out.

  2. Thank, Q says:

    >Welcome, Xmas Dolly! Daft is always entertaining and she takes great photos as well. I will have to check out Spotlight Dance! Thanks for stopping by and thanks for following!

  3. Belle says:

    >These are wise words, and it took maturity to break up with the girl you liked before you met your wife.

  4. >The only problem I get with the "In-laws" are when they get too damn nosey and dip into my business. That makes me wanna buy a case full of body bags asap!Oh by the way, I loved the guest post on Lost's blog! Hell of a cool place to vent!

  5. Thank, Q says:

    >@ Belle – Yes, it did make me a little wiser and probably was one of my first steps towards approaching maturity. I'm sure it helped me towards being in a place to date The Mrs.@ Herpes – First, a very memorable name! Nosy in-laws are the worst, but I can understand some being concerned for their child. But, only to a certain extent. Try to avoid creating a crime scene with yours. :)And yes, Lost in Idaho is a great site and I'm glad you were able to find me there! I always leave his site laughing at something.

  6. Sonia says:

    >Don't even get me started on this subject. I had some issues with my ex sister in law and till this day I don't know why she never liked me. My mother use to say it was because she was probably racist, but I always chalked it up to just being a miserable person. I couldn't stand her anyway, she was always cranky.

  7. theTsaritsa says:

    >I agree, your in-laws don’t have to be perfect, but if there are red flags popping up when you go home to visit for the first time you should probably pay attention to them.

  8. Thank, Q says:

    >@ Sonia – It’s rough, especially if the in-laws trip on silly things.@ Tsaritsa – A person takes a chance if they see a red flag and still choose to get into the situation.

  9. Tiffany says:

    >My in-laws are cool, but some of the cousins seem to need drama and chaos in order to breathe. In that respect, I’m glad they’re all a few hours away 🙂

  10. Thank, Q says:

    >Distance can be our friend when it comes to family sometimes, Tiffany. 🙂

  11. Some inlaws can be downright nasty! What's important is that you remember that you are bound to your partner. It's your life together, they're just accessories. Don't let bad inlaws get in the way of your happiness.

  12. Quincy S says:

    I hope the typical monster-in-law is a thing of the past. You don't hear about it as often as you once did, so I hope that means that it's trending towards more of a positive relationship. Thanks for commenting!

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